I hurt her and I really feel guilty, I literally used her and I knew it from the start that I would do that but I was so attracted to her booty that I really couldn't be bothered if I'd be breaking her heart when I walked away...
Now that I've got your attention, I love words, I'm a coward and I cant call names or be specific with my blog and so I just ramble randomly with the hope that someone may actually read it to the end and maybe pick a line that may make sense to them. I use my readers as a psychological experiment and I'm sorry. Am I? Maybe not. THIS IS A SHORT AND 100% RANDOM ONE
On a serious note though, I don't feel like a wicked or unforgiving person when I say "sorry" or "thank you" are the most overrated words sitting next to "Love" in the dictionary called Life. I made a very foolish decision while booking my ticket to naija in May and that decision is here to haunt me in December. I take full responsibility and I was just whining about it to a friend and she said "you made your decision". In my head it almost translated to funk off, mumu boy... actually it dint, I was saving N20k and I got a fixed ticket instead of flexible one (and I really have no regrets). The funny part was that after giving me a bullocking about my choice, she said "PELE" (Sorry) and it immediately calmed me. I realised the calming effect I got from being told sorry and I shook my head and said "Shame on you Andy". That word sorry influenced this random rambling which is actually about YOU!!!
My last post was titled WHO CARES, I've thought about it objectively and most times the things we claim not to care about are the things we care about the most. I claim not to be bothered with a lot of issues like apologies and appreciation but I just figured that maybe I do. Maybe its ok to want to feel appreciated and maybe its a mental sign of surrender when people say they are sorry. Its an admission of guilt, remorse and or defeat amongst many other things. But seriously why would someone hurt you so bad and come up to you, keep a straight or sad face and say "Sorry" and that alone can bring a smile to our faces...C'mon, there's got to be more to it. Well there isn't. Your partner cheats on u, you catch them and they come back later and say sorry and everything is fine. "Sorry" may as well be nature's Jazz (Voodoo). Sorry is a start, its a means of showing emotions, sorry and thank you may as well be Verbal kisses.
We expect to much from the next man and sometimes we give too much. But asides being to inquisitive and wanting an answer to everything in life, maybe we should just accept things as they are. We cant know the answers to all the "why's" in life, Andy would never know why sorry means so much to us and why one word can wipe away a millions hurting thoughts and a mind stained with anger. Does this mean we shouldn't be sorry cos it's just a word? But hey, they say in pidgin "na "no" de cause fight".
It may just be a word but sometimes, "SORRY" is all we need to hear.
I've got a lot to write but the winter freezes my brain and turns down my randomness, my duvet is calling my name like a nude lingerie model in its own way its telling me sorry about the cold weather....and yes I will succumb...scroll back to the 1st paragraph where I broke her heart, cos I walked away