Friday, 7 October 2011

Random Rambling Series: The 3 course meal, Part 1 - Dear Artiste

I was shocked, she kept lying to him and he believed it. She made him smile with the words she spoke, she increased his confidence in himself but yes she lied to him. at the other end of the room I was too scared to point out the fact that she was ruining his life... gradually misdirecting him and getting a team together to support while he stupidly believed and then grew cocky. Who am I to complain? Technically I should complain cos I am interested in the lies, but sometimes all you have is a paper and a pen. I'll write a letter, to the artiste, a fan and a promoter. Funny thing is the artiste will never read this, the fans will ask who the hell am I to complain? The promoters will say I should shut up and call me names... Let me be your waiter, it is my meal a 3 course meal prepared with a paper and a pen. This is just another silly random rambling series and it is not directed at anyone particularly, it may never even get published but then again, somebody lied.

Dear Artiste,

We watched you grow, we grew with you and some of us claim we know you while others claim they knew you. I dont care about you so much, I just love good music and that is why we noticed you. you had promises and your delivery impressed the listeners and then things changed. People expect too much from Artistes but i will talk about that in a second, I just wonder if these artistes actually go the extra mile sometimes or if it is just a funny industry. Regardless of that, most artistes have become users who only come out to play when they have to. You cant create a twitter account then come on it a week to the release of your new single, album or video and expect us to jump on your bandwagon and throw in all the love and support only for you to disappear once that is done? We understand that you are busy and all but you are human and not a robot, people actually like you so don't take it for granted.

You have had a couple of songs we liked please why do you have to change your style just to prove you are versatile? people love you already but some songs will bring you down. The fans are not patient but they have a say in your status. very few people can pull off the versatility move and i'm not saying you shouldn't try, I'm just saying you should find an identity, do not use us as your guinea pigs because it is no different from submitting your tacky jotter as a grade-able essay. A & R (Artist and Repertoire) is something every artiste should invest in, most cases you get this free. Get some random music lovers who will be able to tell you the truth, play the song for them or listen or send it to them. Give them a scale to rate it (In my case I randomly rate everything on a scale of 1-5), find a way they can rate it or be truthful about it because your producer won't tell you his beat is wack, neither would your bestfriend or partner except on rare occasions. Maybe you should always have two or more songs for someone to choose from especially if it is a single for your upcoming album. Where are you rushing to?

Jayz, Nas, The Game, 50cents etc would do anything to be likened to BIG or 2pac. Jennifer Hudson would be glad to be likened to Diana Ross or Aretha Franklin. Dear Artiste I notice that my Nigerian celebrities (loads of them)get offended when you compare them to international acts. Did you invent rap? or acting? or RnB? It doesn't hurt to be influenced by someone else, maybe we are trying to show you how highly rated you are but no, you have become so proud and you take offence and in some cases get rude. Maybe we need more bakeries because it seems we've run out of humble pies. Everyone is now somebody and listens to nobody. Regardless we still love you and it is a shame that this letter offends you (if it does).

Bottomline is, not everyone will love you, not everyone hates you, most of us will still lie to you. You're in the limelight now and we hope you can actually see through the sunglasses.


She lied and he smiled, he lied and she believed it, it happens everyday and everywhere, in entertainment, business and life generally but the truth remains: This lies wont end. I have another letter to write and it is to a fan

Dear Fan,

I hope the starter wasn't so sour but...

To be continued

Randomly yours,
That Andy

October 2011


  1. Great post !.In fairness to the artistes concerned though, I'll like to point out that in as much as the aim of some of thse artistes is to make sustainable and good music , it also plays well with the labels that they are signed to , to make money.It is this mentality that makes some of these artistes convert to the " commercial music " campaign. Plus, the Nigerian market isn't helping either, the Typical Nigerian would rather listen to a Song that sounds somewhat of a party jingle than listen to Heartfelt Rendition.One thing that is Noteworthy point is that there would always be less people making good music than the commercial " this is what the public wants" kind of music .

  2. I really love dis write up. I especially complained abt tiwa savage only coming on twitter to ask us to vote for her bt failing to ask us hw we're doing. I still luv her tho. It also gets me upset when fans show artistes luv n the artistes make them look stupid. Its really hurtful cz they r d reason ur there in d first place. Anyways days d part of ur note I particularly related to cz I c it happn on twitter everyday. Love ur piece,fact filled!