Saturday, 31 March 2012

The Wall by Lindsey

By @MissLind_sea

In the silence of the light
I walk as though I crave the dark
In the chaos of silence
I crave the subtlety of confusion
Not 'cause I seek it
But because I live in fear
And would rather have you take me as insane than one to take the blame for my deeds
I lay behind the wall
I'm invincible
Or so I think
But it protects me
I'm a super hero
I'm a genius
Oh the power that it gives me
When all is said and done
I dread the minute it'd crumble down
And you'd see my bare spirit...

And now that my spirit is borne
I see another you
You lay behind the wall
You are invincible
Or so you think
It protects you
But sadly you're not so much of a genius
'Cause you don't see that little crack
I know what those lines say
You'd soon have your spirit borne...
And then in the next second,it's down in ruins...
And I see your bare spirit...
So what do we do now?
Do we build another?
Or do we live bare?

Mothers: My Thoughts

By @HRS_Cindy

Out of the gazillion thoughts running through my head right now I have decided to pick this one thought and share it with you. Its the one thought that gives me bitter-sweet feelings and so much to look forward to as the years go by. A thought that comes as many questions...

What makes a woman a mother?

Is it the selflessness of a woman? Or just the mere fact that she conceived, nurtured a growing seed for 9/10/11 or even 12months (yes some babies are really stubborn) and practically groomed the baby and guided him/her true the years unto maturity?

Often times I wonder if providing financial support and some emotional support is enough to make a woman feel fulfilled as a mother. When does a mother look back at her child and smile in contentment? How much sacrifice does she have to offer for her child to be satisfied or reach a fulfilled level in life?

There are a lot of single parents in the world right now with single mothers taking the lead seeing as "love" is screwing people up badly these days. And I have to say, "big ups" to the single mothers out there who have given their ALL to raise children who contribute in their own way to make the world a better place and also be people of substance.    Its enough that the world looks at single mothers with judging eyes and "hmmmm" on their lips. Having to deal with being looked at like people who have committed the worst atrocity on earth just because they chose to give their bundle of joy a chance to live and be somebody in the world alone is a mega challenge to face everyday of their lives, not to mention having to bring their children up to have respect and confidence in themselves knowing fully well that they too are equal with children who were brought up in a home with both parents.
Working for hours daily, Monday through to Friday, some work 2, 3 jobs to make sure their children are provided for and don't feel that void where their fathers should be. Where do these mothers draw their strength from? Why is it hard for society to treat them like mothers who are still with their spouses should be treated?

Left to me, nothing really differentiates a married mother from a single mother. The married mother still has her huddles to cross, Yes. Probably a man to constantly nag at when things get really hard, a man to bring bread home while all she does is play mother to their children and a stronger shoulder to lean on when things get tough. But at the end of the day both she and the single mother actually are the ones doing the bringing up.
How many of us can truly say our fathers know more than our mothers do about us? Why did we always run to our mothers when we needed something or were in trouble as kids? Like me who had a disciplinarian as a mother, one who constantly reminded me of the British rule in Nigeria before the independence because she always had it her way and if I begged to disagree or went my way, had the beating of my life. Still, I loved her like my life depended on it.

Some of us look back with bitter sweet memories of our childhood and regret the things we wish we didn't do and wish we could correct them now. We look back and remember how loving and caring, selfless and happy our mothers were even though sometimes we hear them crying on their pillows in the quiet of the night. We remember how soothing and comforting their embrace was and their cooking........just amazing!  Its a very consoling feeling to watch your parents grow old with you and know that you will be there to take care of them, I bet the knowledge that you've got them in their old age is what makes them look at you and nod/smile in satisfaction..
Never neglect your parents especially your mother, even the religious books say mother comes first after the creator. Show them love, its your turn now. Don't look back and regret the things you should be doing now. For those of us whose memories about our mothers are fading.....all we can do is thank God for the opportunity that we were born and raised by such sweet, selfless women who walked the earth gracefully and are our guardian angels now.

Where would we be? What will we be without our mothers?

P.S: Still in the spirit of Mothers Day, show some love to all the mothers out there. Everyday is Mothers Day..the best blessings to mankind!

Saturday, 3 March 2012

My cheesy "Pause" moment

Inspired by Oche Ejiga...

I watched a movie called Courageous last night and as usual I was one of the last people to watch it. Especially since I remember the cousin asking me to watch it two months ago. I've realized that with movies, inspirational books, and philosophical quotes, nothing is really new under the sun as they say; but it is the fact that at that point in time, that essence in that quote or book is something you can relate to. This is how I felt after watching the movie Courageous. I just realized why I even watched the movie and it was as a result of one of those train-of-thoughts moments which is a major part of my day.

Headphones on, hoodie over my head, hands in my pocket and walking from my bus stop back home after a long and not so nice day at work. Frank Ocean's Nostalgia mix tape, track 12 - American Wedding came on and so did my thoughts. You'd have to listen to that song to understand, but bottom line is: meet someone, fall in love, get married, beautiful ceremony and end with an ugly divorce. Then my thoughts moved on to "The American Dream" and back to Nigeria. Is there a Nigerian Dream? Is the American dream really different from the Nigerian Dream or is ours more complicated?

Nigerian Dream - as a boy, Grow up: you must be in the top 10 in your class at school (unless you were like me and no matter how hard I tried, the twenties always felt like somewhere I belonged). Then you go to secondary school and get forced either by parents or school to be an art or science student and have a future dream which may have been subconsciously put in your head by your parent(s). University becomes compulsory and you have to choose a course which the family approves of; but as usual the university may give you something totally different just like I was made to study sociology in place of law (no regrets, some of my mates who did just finished NYSC or Law school six 6yrs after I finished). The dream begins when it is almost over. You've done the part to please you parents, then you hustle and get a job or source of income and the marriage talk begins. You get convinced it is about time and then you get married which you end up doing, then comes the pressure for a child. There is also the Nigerian dream for ladies which is a whole lot I won't talk about but it starts and ends with some of them being forced to get married, regardless of their own dreams and ambition or be seen as wayward or a failure, which is quite sad.

Truth: Parents want the best for us. They don't want us to make the same mistakes they made or mistakes their parents or siblings made.

Truth: Marriage is a beautiful thing and more.

The Nigerian Child - How many of you grew up being so scared of your parents? You can put your hands down now. How many of you left the living room the moment your dad or mum got back from work? Once again, you can put your hands down. If you do not fall under any of those two categories, I'm sure you had your own experiences. No parent ever planned to be a monster to their kids. Parents love their kids (I guess). Notice how most parents end up loving their children and neglecting their partners and the kids in turn get to love one of the parents who shows or gets no love? A lot of unanswered questions and no one really gets the blame. No one should because your time will come. It boils down to my prayer to be a good friend, father and husband.

My thoughts reminded me to watch the movie "Courageous" because I remembered my cousin saying, "every man should watch this movie". Back to reality, if I don't write this now I may just get out of this rare cheesy moment and forget all this in some hours and this is why I ramble. I may delete this, I may not; but the bottom line and message is: Be thankful, try not to complain too much, love while you can, live a little and love yourself.

I dedicate this to people who have lost close relatives, heaven sees your tears and hears your cry.

Randomly Yours
March 2012