Out of the gazillion thoughts running through my head right now I have decided to pick this one thought and share it with you. Its the one thought that gives me bitter-sweet feelings and so much to look forward to as the years go by. A thought that comes as questions...so many questions...
What makes a woman a mother?
Is it the selflessness of a woman? Or just the mere fact that she conceived, nurtured a growing seed for 9/10/11 or even 12months (yes some babies are really stubborn) and practically groomed the baby and guided him/her true the years unto maturity?
Often times I wonder if providing financial support and some emotional support is enough to make a woman feel fulfilled as a mother. When does a mother look back at her child and smile in contentment? How much sacrifice does she have to offer for her child to be satisfied or reach a fulfilled level in life?
There are a lot of single parents in the world right now with single mothers taking the lead seeing as "love" is screwing people up badly these days. And I have to say, "big ups" to the single mothers out there who have given their ALL to raise children who contribute in their own way to make the world a better place and also be people of substance. Its enough that the world looks at single mothers with judging eyes and "hmmmm" on their lips. Having to deal with being looked at like people who have committed the worst atrocity on earth just because they chose to give their bundle of joy a chance to live and be somebody in the world alone is a mega challenge to face everyday of their lives, not to mention having to bring their children up to have respect and confidence in themselves knowing fully well that they too are equal with children who were brought up in a home with both parents.
Working for hours daily, Monday through to Friday, some work 2, 3 jobs to make sure their children are provided for and don't feel that void where their fathers should be. Where do these mothers draw their strength from? Why is it hard for society to treat them like mothers who are still with their spouses should be treated?
Left to me, nothing really differentiates a married mother from a single mother. The married mother still has her huddles to cross, Yes. Probably a man to constantly nag at when things get really hard, a man to bring bread home while all she does is play mother to their children and a stronger shoulder to lean on when things get tough. But at the end of the day both she and the single mother actually are the ones doing the bringing up.
How many of us can truly say our fathers know more than our mothers do about us? Why did we always run to our mothers when we needed something or were in trouble as kids? Like me who had a disciplinarian as a mother, one who constantly reminded me of the British rule in Nigeria before the independence because she always had it her way and if I begged to disagree or went my way, had the beating of my life. Still, I loved her like my life depended on it.
Some of us look back with bitter sweet memories of our childhood and regret the things we wish we didn't do and wish we could correct them now. We look back and remember how loving and caring, selfless and happy our mothers were even though sometimes we hear them crying on their pillows in the quiet of the night. We remember how soothing and comforting their embrace was and their cooking........just amazing! Its a very consoling feeling to watch your parents grow old with you and know that you will be there to take care of them, I bet the knowledge that you've got them in their old age is what makes them look at you and nod/smile in satisfaction..
Never neglect your parents especially your mother, even the religious books say mother comes first after the creator. Show them love, its your turn now. Don't look back and regret the things you should be doing now. For those of us whose memories about our mothers are fading.....all we can do is thank God for the opportunity that we were born and raised by such sweet, selfless women who walked the earth gracefully and are our guardian angels now.
Where would we be? What will we be without our mothers?
P.S: Still in the spirit of Mothers Day, show some love to all the mothers out there. Everyday is Mothers Day..the best blessings to mankind!