Inspired by Oche Ejiga...
I watched a movie called Courageous last night and as usual I was one of the last people to watch it. Especially since I remember the cousin asking me to watch it two months ago. I've realized that with movies, inspirational books, and philosophical quotes, nothing is really new under the sun as they say; but it is the fact that at that point in time, that essence in that quote or book is something you can relate to. This is how I felt after watching the movie Courageous. I just realized why I even watched the movie and it was as a result of one of those train-of-thoughts moments which is a major part of my day.
Headphones on, hoodie over my head, hands in my pocket and walking from my bus stop back home after a long and not so nice day at work. Frank Ocean's Nostalgia mix tape, track 12 - American Wedding came on and so did my thoughts. You'd have to listen to that song to understand, but bottom line is: meet someone, fall in love, get married, beautiful ceremony and end with an ugly divorce. Then my thoughts moved on to "The American Dream" and back to Nigeria. Is there a Nigerian Dream? Is the American dream really different from the Nigerian Dream or is ours more complicated?
Nigerian Dream - as a boy, Grow up: you must be in the top 10 in your class at school (unless you were like me and no matter how hard I tried, the twenties always felt like somewhere I belonged). Then you go to secondary school and get forced either by parents or school to be an art or science student and have a future dream which may have been subconsciously put in your head by your parent(s). University becomes compulsory and you have to choose a course which the family approves of; but as usual the university may give you something totally different just like I was made to study sociology in place of law (no regrets, some of my mates who did just finished NYSC or Law school six 6yrs after I finished). The dream begins when it is almost over. You've done the part to please you parents, then you hustle and get a job or source of income and the marriage talk begins. You get convinced it is about time and then you get married which you end up doing, then comes the pressure for a child. There is also the Nigerian dream for ladies which is a whole lot I won't talk about but it starts and ends with some of them being forced to get married, regardless of their own dreams and ambition or be seen as wayward or a failure, which is quite sad.
Truth: Parents want the best for us. They don't want us to make the same mistakes they made or mistakes their parents or siblings made.
Truth: Marriage is a beautiful thing and more.
The Nigerian Child - How many of you grew up being so scared of your parents? You can put your hands down now. How many of you left the living room the moment your dad or mum got back from work? Once again, you can put your hands down. If you do not fall under any of those two categories, I'm sure you had your own experiences. No parent ever planned to be a monster to their kids. Parents love their kids (I guess). Notice how most parents end up loving their children and neglecting their partners and the kids in turn get to love one of the parents who shows or gets no love? A lot of unanswered questions and no one really gets the blame. No one should because your time will come. It boils down to my prayer to be a good friend, father and husband.
My thoughts reminded me to watch the movie "Courageous" because I remembered my cousin saying, "every man should watch this movie". Back to reality, if I don't write this now I may just get out of this rare cheesy moment and forget all this in some hours and this is why I ramble. I may delete this, I may not; but the bottom line and message is: Be thankful, try not to complain too much, love while you can, live a little and love yourself.
I dedicate this to people who have lost close relatives, heaven sees your tears and hears your cry.