Wednesday, 11 April 2012

I Love Food And Food Loves Me by @MissFrivolous

Sloppy Joe's!!! Who doesn't love sloppy Joe's? I don't know about you but to me they are simply orgasmic. All that meaty juicy spicy sexiness between buns....burger buns... Ummmm!!!! I mean I love hamburgers, chicken burgers and all, but sloppy joes are just amazing. The juiciness, the messiness, the yumminess...I could go on. Most important is the ease with which it can be made. WAIT!!! Before you start getting aroused, this is an educational piece teaching you how to satisfy your carnal desires...for food (come out of the gutter). To make a sloppy joes, you will need canned chopped tomatoes, worcestershire sauce, ground beef/minced meat, brown sugar, vinegar, garlic powder, black pepper, salt, onion powder, seasoning cube, chili sauce and Burger buns. Throw the beef into a lightly greased non-stick pan, toss in the brown sugar and spices followed by the vinegar, worcestershire sauce and chili sauce, cook for about 5 minutes and then throw in the chopped tomatoes, give it a little stir and let simmer for say 10minutes.. Then heap large dollops of the sauce on one side of burger bun and cover with the other.. And hey, sloppy Joe is ready. Like i said, it is pretty easy to make, and the good thing is you can pre-make the sauce and freeze it. So on one of those days when u come home really tired and hungry you can just take the sauce out the freezer, thaw it, reheat it, cut your burger buns in half, slap some of that sloppy sauce on one half, cover with the other and bite in... Divine!!

Oh! You thought we were done? Or are you still bathing in the after glow from your interactions with Joe? I understand. That was just the starter. Now unto the main course.

Pasta. I LOVE pasta.. Spaghetti, Tagliatelle, Fusilli, spahettini, lasagna noodles, fettuccini, Penne, Macaroni, Ravioli.. Just give me a good pasta dish and a chilled glass of lemonade and I know you are my friend. I recently met someone who says he doesn't eat pasta, I had to give him a nice long hug. I was craving pasta some days ago so I made Fusilli pasta with shrimps and diced chicken breast tossed in cream, white wine and chives sauce and then I garnished it with some basil leaves. No! That was not one meal, it was one afternoon of mouth orgasms. Out of the abundant kindness of my heart, I am again going to teach you how this was prepared. I marinated the diced chicken breast and shrimps (separately) in chopped tomatoes, vinegar, sesame oil, soy sauce, salt, black pepper and chili sauce (quite a lot huh?) for about 30 minutes, then I stir-fried them (separately) until cooked. I boiled my pasta in salt water; al dente, drained and set aside. Then i made my sauce; stir-frying chopped garlic, ginger and onions and then I added the white wine, cooking cream, chopped chives, some canned chopped tomatoes, and spices to taste. I let it simmer for a few minutes and then I added the chicken and shrimps. Gave it a good stir, let it simmer for another 5minutes and then I poured the cooked pasta into the sauce and tossed it until well combined... Ecstasy!!

Now unto our dessert, because no meal is complete without something sweet.

One other thing I like and I'm apparently not alone in this; is red velvet cake. Because I like not so sugary cakes, because of the moistness and it's almost as if it just melts in your mouth somehow or maybe just because it is red and velvety, I don't know...too be honest, it doesn't matter. Red velvet cakes are WINNING. I've noticed that even for non cake lovers, they love it. Most people think it's just a regular cake with red color.... Far from it. Well it does have red color in it, but that's just for the color. Red velvet is a combination of cocoa, buttermilk, vanilla, vinegar (yeah i said vinegar) and oil (not butter) which gives it the moistness. I said not butter because I tried once to substitute melted butter for oil and as much it was still great, there was a huge obvious difference with when I use oil. It was not as fluffy, not as moist and the texture was not as velvety. I use red velvet for just about anything.... I combine it with vanilla pound cake sometimes to make strawberry trifle... Trifles are sinful desserts, but a little too sugary for me so I take it in small doses, that doesn't mean you have to. With layers of vanilla pound cake slices, slices of red velvet cake, strawberry jam and syrup, frozen or fresh strawberries (preferably fresh), whipped cream and homemade custard - basically egg yolk, milk, sugar, corn starch, heavy cream, vanilla and cognac; heated, you have yourself a strawberry trifle. So yeah, you can also use red velvet to make cake balls. Red velvet cake crumbled and mixed together with whipped frosting, cream cheese frosting.. any frosting of your choice (they are usually sold in grocery stores), rolled into small balls, frozen and then rolled in melted chocolate bark. Its hard to find chocolate bark in Nigeria. Well, I didn't find it so I made do with melted chocolate. It came out nicely but not as smooth and it didn't solidify as well as chocolate bark would. I was impressed with the overall outcome though. The savory buttermilky, cocoa-ey flavor from the cake combined with the creamy cheese frosting melting in your mouth after you bite through the chocolate coating... Almost like an eclair. Its safe to call it; Heaven in a bite. And they are are rolled in small balls so it makes it easier for you to just throw into your mouth and indulge... Euphoria!!

I could go on and talk about how I love black forrest cakes. All those layers of heavy whipped cream between layers of rich chocolate cake and layers of cherry pie filling topped with a seductive combination of chocolate ganache and Swiss meringue butter cream, but I would stop here.

It's time for me and you to go into the kitchen and whip up something that will give you immense pleasure. Remember the kitchen should be used for what it was made for.

If you can't do this yourself, you can place orders at and I'd be sure to help.

I can't help it, I am a foodie to the core.

I love food and food loves me.

by Stephanie Okoh @MissFrivolous


  1. Hmmm, i wish i could eat just like you..