Friday, 13 April 2012

My first love, will you have me back? by @Blaqwyne

Had a wonderful day at work yesterday, sort of strange because I am one of those Monday haters but this Monday was different. I did an excellent job of an assignment my boss gave me. Did you just ask if that’s all? Well its sort of a big deal to me, I love being productive, I love doing it right. As I left the office in high spirits I saw some mad people and was wondering why and how on earth did all these mad people get here when i saw the cameras… my heart started beating rapidly, my mouth went dry, my palms were sweaty and the memories rushed back… All of a sudden I was that little girl again in the sitting room with my dad and uncle watching Julia Roberts in the movie Pretty Woman, her facial expressions spoke volumes even before she uttered words she made acting seem like child’s play. That was when I fell in love with acting that was when I knew I would do anything for the world of make-belief.

When I chose to study Theatre Arts in the university, my aunties would have none of it but my dad let me study the course of my choice. Wasn’t prepared for the stress that came with studying Theatre Arts didn't even know rehearsals were part of the deal, was practically forced before I started attending them and kept turning up my nose at the girl playing the role of sugar mummy in the play my class was working on at that time, I couldn't understand what was so difficult in taking in your lines, getting your blockings right and getting into character that she just couldn’t get. She made rehearsals boring and tiresome, didn't realize the director had been observing me untill one friday he gave me the script to take in lines and try out on monday, kept talking to myself all weekend but my lines was what I was actually taking in, monday saw me doing a pretty good job of that role and that was how the real journey of my passion started, that was how I began nurturing my relationship with my 1st love; ACTING. If looks could kill, I would have died the day I was chosen over my senior course-mate for a role in a command performance we were to present to the then Visitor of the university. How can I forget how my female course-mates made a big deal because I was named the best female acting student of our set, they were on about how I always got the lead role that’s why it seemed like I was the best and our final year production had me playing a minor role so you could imagine my joy when our external supervisor called out my character as one of those that made the production worth it. Majoring in final year was one of the stressful points of studying Theatre Arts for me but quite challenging as well. Everybody was going for Directing, Costume and Make-up or Theatre Administration but I majored rather in Acting. My major had all the seemly difficult lecturers in my department involved but I wasn’t deterred and ended up having the best of times with them, even the no-nonsense mrs Odeh offered me tea and biscuits sometimes when her office AC got too cold for me to bear.

HOPE AGAINST HOPE, a TV programme for NTA saw me acting alongside some of my lecturers right after school. The joy I felt,when people went 'arent you Adiza in Hope Against Hope?' on the streets. The fulfillment working on each script, getting into character for different roles, like when I did the practicals for my major. I acted as two different characters and it was really tasking having to do most of the technical work which wasn't really my area but it came out well at the end"

So what happened to our relationship? Becoming an adult and paying bills happened, I realised I couldn't make all the money I wanted if I didnt put that relationship on hold. I needed a financial foundation before putting my legs up and having cocktails with my dear love, else i would end up a desperate lover, isnt that what we all hate? For me,acting isnt about making money and becoming a superstar its a hugry passion that needs to be fed with quality and remarkable works so marrying my first love for the money will ruin a beautiful bond that took years to build.

But after seeing all those people yesterday,had me thinking. Have I been gone for too long? Can we pick up from where we stopped before I went looking for comfort? Will my love still have me,accept me when I find my way back? I cant be sure but one thing I am so sure is, I would never been a fulfilled woman if I dont mend fences with my first love. Its true what they say 'the first cut is the deepest of them all". We all have that passion,that we let go at some point in our lives either intentionally or unintentionally. Will we ever be fulfilled if we never pick them up again? My passion is acting... What's your passion?

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